Working on Character Animation Exercises: Can someone critique?

[simmedia]

Hi everyone,
Simi here. I have ben working on some very simple character animation techniques with dancing letters for a commercial promo. Could you guys give me your honest opinion on the movement so far?

http://hotfile.com/dl/82791521/b3b2562/jaydees.avi.html
Thanks so much everyone
Simi

[Ben Sword]

Well so far it looks good to me. Where its at right now makes it look like a start menu for a Super NES game. :laughing:
Anyway the movements look pretty good to me. Only, is that supposed to be a ball of string? Because if it is I would suggest making it unravel a little as it goes along.

[simmedia]

Lol. Whoa NES...never thought about that. I really want to update it. Yes that's supposed to be a basketball. Sorry the resolution is a bit fuzzy. I encoded it. I am working on slowing down the movement a little bit.

Thanks for the comment. Still working on it.

Simi

[Josh Lokan]

Hi Sim,

I've got a lot of feedback for you. Hopefully it isn't over kill.

1. I really like the idea. Looks fun to work on.
2. The design looks a little mature for young kids. I would add some curved corners to your letters. If this is the actual scale of the final movie, I'd really exaggerate the curves. If it's bigger, like lots bigger, then it could be more subtle.
3. I'd take out all Black in the design. Replace it with a dark blue or dark purple. I'd also enhance the thickness of the line work. The will make it feel more cartoon, which appears to be what you're going for. The lines on the ball, I'd switch to a dark orange to go with the ball design.
4. Replace the blue background with another color. It is way to strong right now. I'd add like a basketball court or some type of practical backdrop that makes sense. This would help it feel more solid as a piece. Right now it feels like a blue screen cut out.
5. The ball looks squished. It doesn't look like a basketball because of it. This is an exaggerated pose, rather than a rest pose. I'd make the regular pose a normal round shape, and use the squished shape to enhance the snappy movement.
6. The movement looks blocked and not inbetweened. I'm not sure if I'm looking at finished movement, but if it is, then you really need some more inbetweens.
7. More snappy movements rather than slower! I saw in your response you were going to slow things down. DON'T DO THAT! This is what's know in the industry as "floaty movement". This is to be avoided at all costs! Instead add inbetweens that will give you easy-ins and ease-outs rather than just adding to slow it down. DON'T LOOSE THE SNAP!!!
8. Your ball really needs overshoot when it comes to a resting pose. Right now it's very robotic in how it stops. The rhythm is cool, so don't loose that. Instead add some frames, where you want it to stop, that continue in that direction and then have it come back.
9. Your ball really needs anticipation. Same kind of idea as overshoot. Add some frames at the beginning of a movement, going in the opposite direction, to indicate to the viewer that the ball is going to go in the other direction.
9. Some of your short ball movements are missing arcs. You'll want to fix that.
10. ACTING...If your letters are supposed to be alive, then I'd add in some thought actions. Right now they feel more reactive than alive. If you were to add in a lot of anticipation for each letters movement it would will help a ton! Also, adding in some poses showing a thought process would be needed as well - and of course inbetweens going in and out of them.
11. STAGING...I'd move everything down to the lower third of the screen rather than the upper third. This will allow your ball and letters to move up and through the upper third. I'd also double the height of your camera to open it up. It will open up the design and add more appeal to the composition.

Lots of info here... You're off to a great start and going in the right direction for it to be an awesome piece!

Cheers!

[jeremyhopkins]

I'm checking your stuff now but just had a couple quick general comments first. In general, it's probably best if you post your personal work in the gallery section: http://donbluthanimation.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=15 If you could use a service like vimeo, it makes it much easier to check your work quickly and it also has the option to download video clips: http://vimeo.com/

Good work getting started!

[OwenWelsh]

Moving thread to the gallery.